FTW LOL
Protesters clashed and violence erupted as Alice Shoemaker exited the Lawrence Health Planned Parenthood center on Tuesday morning. Shoemaker, who was shielded from the media and anti-abortion protestors by her boyfriend Sergio Lima, declined to comment on her upcoming procedure leaving the residents of this Midwestern town to continue to furiously debate her decision to abort her adult son.
The procedure, which medical experts say is risky at best, is intended to separate Shoemaker from her adult son, James Shoemaker. According to unidentified sources, Shoemaker first wished to separate from her son when she met Lima in the summer of 2008.
“Everything was fine between her and that boy before that Sergio fellow showed up and she decided that she didn’t want him (James Shoemaker) sitting in her basement while they engaged in nasty old-people sex” said one neighbor who wished to remain anonymous.
“While it may be true that Ms. Shoemaker’s relationship with Mr. Lima may have played a part in her decision to proceed with the procedure, it is in no way the only reason for her decision. This was a decision that Ms. Shoemaker did not come to easily and it is one that she took a great deal of time to consider” a representative for the Planned Parenthood organization told us. “We only ask that the public and that the members of the media respect Ms. Shoemaker’s decision as well as her privacy.”
For his part, James Shoemaker has also remained silent about the upcoming procedure. As a self-titled unemployed entrepreneur, Shoemaker has lived in his mother’s basement since he graduated from high school in 1991. He has been quoted by area residents as saying that he would be ready to move out of his mother’s basement when nation’s economy started to recover.
The procedure, which is outlawed in several states, has generated a tremendous about of controversy across the nation. “The devils at the Planned Parenthood should not be allowed to play God with this poor boy’s life” one angry protestor told us. “He is a member of the community and we will not allow him to ripped from the womb with no chance to survive on his own.”
Summing up the supporters of Shoemaker, Bill Jackson of Wichita said, “This woman’s right to choose to separate from her worthless son is what made this county great in the first place. If Washington and Jefferson and all those fellows had never moved out of their mama’s homes we may have never inherited the great nation we now live in.”
