lazy joke about 'you people'
As billionaire Ross Perot rifled through a bin of pastel cardigans he did not take time to notice the approaching 39 year old Donald Hunt. “I just wanted to find one dadgum sweater that wasn’t pink or green or yellow or some other girly color” a reportedly exacerbated Perot later told investigators. “And then when he hit me with them sweets I didn’t know what happened.”
The sweets Perot referred to was the bag of snickerdoodle cookies Hunt had purchased at a local 7-11 convenience store just minutes before the attack. “I saw that crazy honky run up and hit that old cracker right up side his head just as I was coming in the store” Yolanda Smith told reporters. “I rushed over to help that old man but then all these security men were running in to save him so I just watched what happened. I didn’t know that old man was some rich dude. What the hell he doing in the Old Navy anyway then?”
For his part, the 80 year-old Perot refused to answer specific questions regarding his reason for choosing to shop in the well-known discount store, stating only that he found the commercials for the retailer to be, “kind of stupid.”
“While we are also interested in figuring out why an old billionaire would shop for clothes that will lose buttons and rip easily, we also need to investigate several other aspects of this case” Officer Paul Ramirez of the Dallas County Sheriff’s office told reporters. “So that being said, it is important to note that we have apprehended the suspected attacker and we have found the weapon we believe he used to carry out the attack.”
The weapon Ramirez mentioned, a bag of snickerdoodle cookies, was described by several witnesses as being, ‘okay, not great, but better than you might think.’ It is still unclear why Hunt did not choose a more popular cookie type such as chocolate chip or peanut butter but police are currently said to be investigating this peculiarity.
